When I was a teenager, and as trite as it seems, I hoped to one day become a supermodel. I was tall and skinny, but I could walk into a room unnoticed. I wasn't asked to prom nor did I ever have a boyfriend in high school. A couple of years later, I was wondering around the streets of New York going to open calls at some of the most prominent modeling agencies in the world: Ford, Elite, Wilhelmina, IMG, Click, to name a few. Sometimes I only got as far as the receptionist, who took my photos and promptly returned with a "you're just not what we're looking for." It could have been much worse! I saw hundreds of girls have their dreams squashed right before my eyes. They were the probably popular girls at home: the prom queen, the cheerleader, or the daughter of wealth who got everything she ever wanted. In New York, they found that life can be extremely harsh. These were the type of girls who wouldn't hesitate to point out my flaws. There, they had thick thighs, bulging eyes and whatever perceived flaw an agent would detect on a short glance. Mostly, these girls didn't get past the height issue, even though they tired to strut in 5-inch heels, everyone knew they were 5'4. If you didn't win the genetic lottery and have at least a 5'9 stature, you could not be a model. The standards of beauty are ever changing but they are getting harsher. Tall, young and thin will always be in fashion, but the boundaries are puzzling.
Somehow, I dodged harsh criticism in those agencies (and sometimes I received positive feedback and callbacks). Perhaps I had already paid those dues. In the end, I was awkward looking at home, but apparently not awkward enough in New York. There are times I regret that I gave up on the modeling idea. I was encouraged to keep at it. Over the past few years, I wonder if I could have survived the harsh criticism any female receives if they have any notoriety. My weight has fluctuated at times and I am past 30. There are things I don't like about my face, but I could only imagine how it would be pointed out and repeatedly scrutinized in public.
This past week, I was in L.A. visiting friends. We happened to get into a taping of The Jimmy Kimmel Live Show. Courteney Cox was a guest. She was absolutely stunning in person! I couldn't stop staring at her perfect legs! When I logged on Jimmy Kimmel's Facebook page afterwards, I was disgusted and horrified at what I read. Courteney's looks (and age) were ripped to shreds from head to toe. Granted, I think whatever filler she had put in her face was unnecessary and excessive, but can one blame her for getting a little desperate? I thought Heidi Montag was crazy for having the 10 plastic surgeries she had, but if you read any article about her online there's a multitude of biting criticisms about her looks to follow in the user comments section. I always though she was kinda cute! She has an elongated face and the popular slam was calling her a "horse face!" OUCH! I mean, I have an elongated face. Perhaps I've been called that on several occasion myself? How can those barbs not cut into anyone's soul? At least Heidi is in her 20's. Courteney is in her 40's and somehow, in today's society, anyone over a day past 35 is not only considered "old" but can't be "hot". What planet do we live on that this concept has not only become mainstream, but is OK? When did it become socially acceptable to evaluate anyone and everyone head to toe? 99.9% of us a imperfect, but we forget that when someone else comes onto the screen- or walks into a room. Women can be horrible and catty and we contribute greatly to our own demise. I wish there was a movement in which that kind of behavior is no longer tolerated or acceptable among our gender. I can dream, can't I? We seem to forget however, for ever criticism or insult you throw out about someone, two come back at you. We all do it. It usually starts with a "I'm sorry, but (fill in the blank about how one is aging, how big their butt looks or what is wrong with their face)...
I still think Courteney Cox is breathtaking. If I look even half as good as her at 46, I'd be very happy. I am going to try to be the best I can be. Perhaps if I go unnoticed, it could be a blessing. What is beauty anyways? Can anyone put their finger on the formula today?
No comments:
Post a Comment